Predictable porn made by men
Amongst other things, I decided to produce a different kind of porn because I was fed up with the cliches that the porn producers (MEN) want to make us believe in:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Every man has at least one litre sperm when he comes.
6. If there is two of them they “high five” each other (and the girl isn’t disgusted!)
7. Young beautiful women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. Those tits are real.
12. Double penetration makes women smile.
13. Asian men don’t exist.
14. Neither man with small cocks.
15. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend’s mouth.
16. There’s a plot.
17. All women love slaps on their butts.
18. Nurses suck patients’ cocks.
19. Men always pull out.
20. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
21. Women never have headaches… or periods.
22. When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to “suck it”.
23. Assholes are clean and yummy.
24. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trousers and find a cock there.
25. And finally, Men never have to beg because a woman always wants to.
Posted by ERIKA LUST at 8:07 AM 7 comments
I’m not sure I want to know what “If there is two of them they “high five” each other” means…
(but seriously, what does that mean?)
Comment by grk — January 29, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
All you say is incredibly (and a bit sadly) true.
That’s why I’m an amateur porn supporter!
Nice blog thus!
Comment by ladb — January 30, 2008 @ 4:56 pm
“HIgh FIVE” is when men shake thieir open hands in the air, sayng “high five”. You nevere heard of that?
Comment by Erika — January 31, 2008 @ 3:18 am
Well, double penetration makes ME smile. But I’m weird. :)
Comment by Wendy — February 20, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
Very true, esp. since I work in porn with a bunch of thick headed men trying to constantly tell me a woman loves this sh*t and I am a WOMAN. No matter what you tell men that work in the industry(not trying to label all men in the industry) they actually think woman get off on this. I guess you have to lie to yourself to enjoy it more!?! But kudos to you Erika..I am a producer still caught up in the males libido producing his vision. Hopefully very soon I can bring my own creative vision to this industry.
Comment by Haze — April 4, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
Haze, right now I’m Toronto in the FEMINIST PORN AWARDS. The sole existence of this award is a good symboly that things are going to change. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment by Erika — April 4, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
Just sayin’, of all the women I’ve discussed sex with (partners and/or friends) I don’t know any who don’t enjoy double penetration (at least DV if they’re not into anal) or the occasional playful spank during sex. Then again, most of the friends I talk about sex with are pretty thoroughly kinky and tend to be into lots of other stuff that’s out of the mainstream, so…my sample is probably skewed as hell.
Also, some of the items on the list - like periods - are by necessity never going to be covered in porn, feminist or otherwise. Just like you never see the hero looking for parking in a movie, but that there’s always an empty spot right outside the building they’re going to.
Yes, a lot of this is ridiculous and wrong, but the list is partly redundant (for instance, 15 & 20 are essentially the same; in porn lust overrides all - it can also be argued that 18, 21, 24 & 25 are also more or less the same), partly it’s noting things that no porn, no matter how good and honest, will ever portray.
I genuinely applaud the idea of feminist porn, but this particular list seemed a little haphazard to me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to complain about in mainstream porn, but I think it can be expressed more succinctly, sharply and truthfully.
Comment by JET — April 20, 2008 @ 12:50 pm